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dgm2009-08-18 11:21 pm
closeincline) wrote in dgm2009-08-18 11:21 pm
Go Fish
Go Fish
Title: Go Fish
Characters: Yuu Kanda, Lavi, Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, and Reever a bit.
Warnings: There is some cursing, sorry.
Words: 3,502
Summary: They don't really live a life where they get to take many breaks. But no one can live like that all the time...
So I wanted to write something a little nicer for these guys, because I feel kinda bad for them, ya know? So I decided to write Reever as an enabler, because he is the most sane of every one, I think, and I guess he doesn't get enough credit for that. Go him! But yeah, their lives suck, and it makes me happy to think about them having fun, and kinda of blowing off all the pressure that is put on them all of the time :D so here it is. Thanks!
Kanda is at the end of his proverbial rope. If it’s not one god damned thing, it’s another.
He walks into his practice room, with the hope that meditation might decrease his urge to strangle someone.
General Tiedoll and that Choaji bastard are already in there, which is pretty stupid, he thinks. Neither of them is very likely to strangle people, even when provoked, so clearly he needs this quiet place more than they do.
“Ah! Kanda-kun, how pleasant! Why don’t you come here and help me show-“ Tiedoll begins, but Kanda really doesn’t want to hear it. It’s not his morning.
He just growls and leaves again, right back out the door he entered through moments before. Because, really, fuck that.
He knows that it might not be the mostly likely place, but as he considers his other options, it becomes more and more appealing.
He needs a little quiet time, away from all the crazy that is the rest of the Order.
He room is out of the question; when they need to find him, or bother him for some mundane reason, it’s the first damn place they look. Because privacy and silence is lost on these people. And that flower just glows eerily at him like it’s got something to gloat about, which also pisses him the fuck off.
Training grounds are also off limits as a safe haven. That’s the second place they always look.
Next on the list is the practice room. That is, for obvious reasons, not an option.
So now it’s time to get creative.
And creativity leads him down the stone hallway to the Order’s library.
Yeah, it’s not his first choice. But people are always so adamant about being quiet in libraries.
“Shh!!”
“Don’t fucking ‘shhhh!!’ me!”
“Jeez Yuu, haven’t you ever been in a library? Ya don’t get to just walk in and start yelling. It’s called whispering!”
“Che, whatever”
And that’s what he needs right now.
Also he secretly likes that warm book smell, the serene shelves and the dark softness of the place.
But he doesn’t really acknowledge that as any kind of motivation in what is going on here.
He just wants peace and quiet. And the stillness that meets him when he pushes open one heavy wooden door to see the shelves and tables is so satisfying.
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Lavi sighs as he puts the pen down, and then screws tight the cap on the bottle of ink. He started his work a couple of hours ago, and he is so grateful that it is done. He loves his work, but days like this, when he gets all antsy… being a Bookman isn’t meant for days like this.
It’s 12:06 a.m. and Bookman will expect him to be done soon. At which point it will be time for the next assignment. He knows there are books he’s got to read, he sees the ominous stack Bookman has been collecting for him by his bed. Bookman tends to collect those things for when Lavi finishes his logs early.
He sighs again, and gets up.
Maybe a little walk around the Order will help with this restlessness, because he doesn’t feel like sitting in his room and waiting for bookman to return from lunch will.
His walk takes him first downstairs, to see what the Science Department is up to.
Turns out that is nothing but the regular crazy shit. Another sigh. Funnily enough, that hasn’t cured the agitation yet.
So it’s on to the rest of the Order, the long corridors.
The new building is better for walking then that tower. First off, he hasn’t memorized it all yet. That’s always sort of exciting. And secondly the shape leaves more walking room. There is something about a cylindrical tower that is less interesting, because for the most part, it’s just floor after floor of useless rooms surrounding that elevator. Not too exciting, he has found.
He walks past Allen’s new room, then Yuu’s, then Lenalee’s, and keeps on going to familiar places first. He counts flagstones or doors in a hallway, knowing that the numbers will be emblazoned in his mind, and finds it a comfort.
He always knows that he will leave this place someday, and that day can’t be far. It makes the ability to remember sweeter, because he knows that someday memories of flagstones might become something he guiltily savors, after he is no longer even allowed to pretend to care. At least now he is allowed to pass any emotion he might show off as being part of the act. What’s he supposed to do when the act’s over?
He decides not to examine all of this too closely just now.
Library next, he decides, then the main hall.
Ahead of him he catches the beat of feet, which reverberate back to him and the rhythm is familiar the way a voice might be. He knows the person immediately by that sound; only Kanda steps with that agitated quietness. It’s like light stomping, the way he imagines an angry cat might walk. Like he has so much built up frustration but is left to express it in nothing but whispers.
Kanda is always so complicated, he has found. There has never been more contradiction in a single person. It must be a heavy burden, and Lavi might feel bad if it weren’t Kanda’s own stubborn ass fault.
Anyway.
Why’s he here?
Lavi quickens just a bit, enough to see the last of him as he rounds the corner ahead.
Another corner after that and he’s outside of the library doors, and Yuu’s gone.
Hmm…
He doesn’t really want to go back to his room anyway. Bookman would be all right, and he would understand. After all, Lavi is here for the history, right? Yuu Kanda had just gone into the library of his own free will. Might be worth recording...
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Allen is a patient boy. He always has been. Well, not always, but Mana always made it look so easy…
There were always people who brought out his impatience.
“- baka moyashi!!”
“My name is still Allen!!!”
But overall, he thinks he does a pretty good job putting up with whatever is thrown at him.
“Walker, you should eat better food, a person your age needs vegetable-“
He is going to ignore this; Link doesn’t exactly make him patient either.
“Walker, when you have finished that plate, we are going to be going back to your rooms, because I have work to do, and you have no reason to be lurking around here.”
“Sure Link, I am just going to use the rest room first. No, you better just go. I’ll be two seconds, and I know you have a ton of work to get started on. I’ll be right after you.”
Like hell.
The second he is out of Link’s sight, he runs. And he knows already that he will regret this great escape plan when Link does something rude like report it. but for right now… he doesn’t even feel like he has any other choice. He’s of his room, and he’s sick of the constant peanut gallery that Link feels the need to provide every time he does anything.
He hasn’t been able to run in the halls for weeks. He doesn’t have a reason to.
He didn’t always used to need a reason to and he certainly doesn’t have one now. It’s more the burning of energy, and feeling of movement.
And after that he slows a bit, to see where his sprint has taken him. He remembers running by Lavi’s room, then Kanda’s.
He wonders where Lavi is. Lavi is the kind of person who knows when some one runs by their room, Allen has found. He would probably know it was Allen, just from hearing him.
Lavi has his head down, and he looks like he is asleep. A small pile of old looking books sit next to him, one open on the table that he sits at in the dinning hall.
Allen runs, the kind of run that is more like a brisk jog, down the main aisle between the long table towards the other end to catch up with Lenalee, who is leaving. He would call for her, but if Lavi is asleep…
“Oi, Allen, where’s the fire?” Lavi mumbles from where his sits, without lifting his head.
Allen doesn’t really understand Lavi all the time.
Allen has been gone for about 10 minutes or so by now, at the most. And he figures he’s got five more until Link starts looking for him. So hiding now might be fun…
Where’s he the closest to, that’s a place he can enjoy hiding…?
Library.
It might have been the thoughts of Lavi that bring it to his mind first; he takes no time to investigate.
And he starts to jog a little again.
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Lenalee has had days that started better. To be fair she has also had days that started worse.
But she knows better than to get irritated after a less than perfect morning. People like that can’t last long in places like this.
Poor Kanda.
So now she is focused on the coffee tray that she is carrying. For some reason, this is a pretty good cure for bad morning irritation. Each cup has a name or initials on it, and in the kitchen she makes each cup for the person who those initials belong to.
Her brother might seem, to a less informed observer, like the kind of person who enjoyed sugary lighter coffee, because of his occasionally frivolous façade. She made his coffee stronger, because she knows he needs it.
And Reever, who doesn’t drink coffee at all.
Because she knows and cares for them all enough to know exactly what to get them, and they know it.
She reaches her brothers office, to give him his first. She notes that the door is closed, and knocks. A couple voices respond, her brother, then…
There is something in the Secretary’s voice that seems to cut her, whenever she hears it. And if she is asked to come in, she doesn’t.
It is Reever who opens the door, and gently takes the coffee tray from her.
“I’ve got it, Lenalee, you go on,” he says quietly, clearly trying to let her get away from what he knows scares her.
She walks for a little while, her mind absent.
She isn’t one to hide, on average circumstances. Exorcists generally aren’t.
But she has days, and she has circumstances, when a little moment, a quiet or happy moment, is all she needs to face the disaster that is her line of work.
She wants company, some one in her family to be with, because that’s where she is the happiest. And they always know how to make her happier.
Allen isn’t in his room. Neither is Link. But they aren’t in the cafeteria.
Lavi isn’t in his room.
Kanda isn’t in his. Nor can she see him outside training. And the General is training Choiji in the practice room.
They weren’t away; they weren’t in her brother’s office. Where else would they even go?
Library?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kanda sidles to the back of the library, where the shelves get closer together, the books older, and the people fewer. He sits cross-legged and evens his breathing. He counts slowly with each in breath. On each out breath the rhythm becomes steady, and so does he.
Next his mind begins to clear. He thinks of all that stupid shit, since he woke up this morning, and puts it into perspective until it looks insignificant and he doesn’t feel like he should be irritated any more. Because it no longer matters.
Time disappears, and he enjoys the stillness.
He feels the little vibrations in the floor, small, and they alert him of another person near him. When they are close enough that he can hear the person, he opens an eye, to make sure he is not in danger.
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Lavi walks up to where he saw Yuu retreat, and comes around the bookshelf to see him meditating. When his face is like that, even, and without a scowl…
But he thinks too soon. A single eye opens and the aggravation is showing in the eyebrows that begin to tilt together.
Lavi holds up his hands to show surrender, and the eye closes again.
He sits across from Yuu, his back against the books, and keeps quiet. He’d meditate too, if he could. Bookmen’s minds aren’t designed to be cleared.
After a time Yuu opens his eyes, both of them, to glare a little.
Lavi is surrendering once again.
“What? I didn’t say anything!”
“You don’t have to. I just don’t feel like it. Not with you just sitting there watching me.”
Lavi isn’t sure if he should be flattered that Yuu just inadvertently said that he couldn’t concentrate around him, even when he was still and quiet. He never thought his presence as Lavi was quite so powerful. He decides not to bring it up, even in jest.
“Sorry, Yuu.”
“I told you, don’t you call me by that name, or I’ll-“
Lavi hears another person, and so does Yuu.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allen hears them, trying to be quiet, but Kanda doesn’t seem like the kind of person who can be moved to whisper just because he is in a library.
Well, he was looking for somewhere to be, and they seemed to have found the best hiding place. Beat him to it. He follows the voices.
“Moyashi?!” greets him as he comes around the last bookshelf.
“Shh!!” Lavi says.
“I’ve told you, my name’s Allen!”
“Don’t ‘shh!” me!” Kanda snaps.
And Allen seats himself next to Lavi.
Kanda glares at them. Allen is not sure why he is so upset.
“What?” Allen asks.
“You two ruined my quiet.”
“I was being quiet! You’re the one who’s yelling, Yuu.
“I’m not yelling, don’t call me-“
“And Kanda, other people are allowed to enjoy the library.” Allen adds.
Allen notes that Kanda looks like his about to strangle some one.
“Moyashi-“
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lenalee comes to the back of the library and she can hear them trying to whisper.
She walks faster, because she didn’t expect to find them all in one place.
“Moyashi-“ Kanda is saying, in the way that might mean death, right as she sees them around the bookshelf.
They see her too, and Kanda drops whatever he was about to get mad at Allen for.
She runs a little over to them, and sits on her knees by them.
“Lenalee!” Allen says as she sits, and she smiles.
“What are all of you doing back here?”
At this, none of them give her eye contact. Allen looks down, Lavi looks up and Kanda looks away to the side, with varying degrees of guilt from each.
Why must they all be so ill behaved?
On second thought, it is probably only Lavi and Allen who are misbehaving. Kanda is just ill tempered.
They sit in silence for a second; all reflecting on what it is that brought them there.
Oh well. They’ll find us soon enough. Lenalee thinks.
Allen pulls a deck of cards from is pocket, and shuffles them absently. Lavi reads the names of the books over Kanda’s shoulder, and Kanda just sits.
“Allen,” she starts, “would you like to play cards?”
“Aw Lenalee, don’t! Allen is a demon with cards!” Lavi warns.
“Lavi! You think I would play that way with Lenalee? Jeez. Sure Lenalee, I would love to.” He looks to Lavi, then Kanda. “Would you like me to deal you two in as well?”
“If I have a gentleman’s word that there’ll be no cheating,” Lavi says, “Deal me a hand!”
Kanda says nothing, and Lenalee is fairly positive that he doesn’t know how to play. He might, she doesn’t know for certain. But she can’t imagine where he would have learned.
And he won’t be made a fool of, so he won’t want to ask to be taught. He won’t want to refuse a challenge, which is what he sees everything as when Allen is involved.
If he can’t ask to be taught, she will help him. She just doesn’t want him to get so mad he storms off, and Allen can be insensitive to that sort of thing.
“Allen, I don’t really know how to play, do you think you could go over it?” she asks. Maybe Kanda will have the good sense learn as Allen explains it, because she is doing this for his benefit.
And Allen answers as he deals the cards, seven in front of each of them.
“Sure. We are only going to be playing Go Fish, so it’s not terribly hard, as far as card games go. Here-”
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When Link barges into Komui’s office and makes a face, he doesn’t really even need to finish tattling, they know.
Bookman walks in, looking a little more collected, but similarly irritated. He is not there to tattle, just check.
Komui just looks at Reever, and Reever knows that he should already be looking for them.
Because Allen isn’t supposed to run off, and they are just lucky that Link tattles to them first, before he is off to tell the Secretary. In fact, Reever is almost genuinely impressed, because something like that almost shows compassion.
And Lavi isn’t in trouble, per say, but he ought to get his tail back to where the Bookman wants him. Again, it isn’t his responsibility, but he knows that he is to keep his eyes open.
The usual places yield nothing.
45 minutes later, and Reever is in the library. He doesn’t think he will find any one here, but he didn’t find them anywhere else, so why not?
And he hears Lenalee giggle, so quietly. She is in the back of the library, he can hear it.
He follows the sound, and stops in his tracks.
Allen laughs. Then Lavi.
He walks again, trying to get closer without alerting them to his arrival. He just really wants to know why they are laughing… they don’t laugh as much any more.
“Allen, is this-?”
“Lenalee, don’t show me your cards!” he laughs
“Two sevens!” Lavi declares. “Eh-! Yuu!!”
Kanda snorts, like he might be laughing, if he was into that sort of thing.
“What? Three kings.” Kanda says.
“Lenalee?” Lavi asks.
“Hmm?” she answers.
“Have any nines?”
“Go fish!”
And Reever doesn’t really know what to do. He feels like he is spying, viewing something that is private, but he can’t move. Well, he could. But he is bound by curiosity.
Why are they playing cards?
He won’t stop them, he realizes, after listening for another minute. Because they never get this.
He hears how easily they speak, how comfortable they are. Allen’s typically formal speech is even dropped somewhat, and exchanged for a much more comfortable way that he seldom uses. Lavi is easy going as usual, but there is a level of genuineness that Reever is not sure he always hears. Kanda doesn’t sound like he’s inches away from committing homicide. Lenalee’s voice is missing that edge of tension, and he might be imaging all of this.
But he might not be.
How the hell does he know?
He turns, and begins to walk back away, slowly. He won’t disturb them.
He isn’t covering for them, not exactly. It’s more like he is pretending he hasn’t checked here yet. He is just going to leave and keep looking. Somewhere else. Where he knows that they aren’t.
And typically he wouldn’t do this. People should do their work, and hiding isn’t what you should do when you don’t feel like doing what you’re told.
But this is pretty different from that.
Because working at the Order is like trying to delicately engineer a train wreck, and the only difference between the exorcists and the Science dept. is that the exorcists tend to be passengers who know the crash is coming but aren’t allowed to jump off the train. And people like Reever are supposed to be luckier because they get to watch. He wonders which one of them has the guiltier job.
But he doesn’t wonder long.
They are children. They are over worked; they have all seen horror and hell that he can’t even imagine dealing with, falling asleep at night with.
They are saving the world, the four of them.
And they have help, and they have love, but really, they don’t have breaks.
Because if it’s not one thing it’s another. And they all work hard, and do what they are told, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get antsy every once in a while. They have so much patience, but there is only so much a person should be able to tolerate. And they’ve had it worse, but that isn’t an excuse. That doesn’t mean he can’t try and make it a little better for them now.
And Reever leaves the library, letting the door close quietly behind him.
Thanks for reading!
Title: Go Fish
Characters: Yuu Kanda, Lavi, Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, and Reever a bit.
Warnings: There is some cursing, sorry.
Words: 3,502
Summary: They don't really live a life where they get to take many breaks. But no one can live like that all the time...
So I wanted to write something a little nicer for these guys, because I feel kinda bad for them, ya know? So I decided to write Reever as an enabler, because he is the most sane of every one, I think, and I guess he doesn't get enough credit for that. Go him! But yeah, their lives suck, and it makes me happy to think about them having fun, and kinda of blowing off all the pressure that is put on them all of the time :D so here it is. Thanks!
Kanda is at the end of his proverbial rope. If it’s not one god damned thing, it’s another.
He walks into his practice room, with the hope that meditation might decrease his urge to strangle someone.
General Tiedoll and that Choaji bastard are already in there, which is pretty stupid, he thinks. Neither of them is very likely to strangle people, even when provoked, so clearly he needs this quiet place more than they do.
“Ah! Kanda-kun, how pleasant! Why don’t you come here and help me show-“ Tiedoll begins, but Kanda really doesn’t want to hear it. It’s not his morning.
He just growls and leaves again, right back out the door he entered through moments before. Because, really, fuck that.
He knows that it might not be the mostly likely place, but as he considers his other options, it becomes more and more appealing.
He needs a little quiet time, away from all the crazy that is the rest of the Order.
He room is out of the question; when they need to find him, or bother him for some mundane reason, it’s the first damn place they look. Because privacy and silence is lost on these people. And that flower just glows eerily at him like it’s got something to gloat about, which also pisses him the fuck off.
Training grounds are also off limits as a safe haven. That’s the second place they always look.
Next on the list is the practice room. That is, for obvious reasons, not an option.
So now it’s time to get creative.
And creativity leads him down the stone hallway to the Order’s library.
Yeah, it’s not his first choice. But people are always so adamant about being quiet in libraries.
“Shh!!”
“Don’t fucking ‘shhhh!!’ me!”
“Jeez Yuu, haven’t you ever been in a library? Ya don’t get to just walk in and start yelling. It’s called whispering!”
“Che, whatever”
And that’s what he needs right now.
Also he secretly likes that warm book smell, the serene shelves and the dark softness of the place.
But he doesn’t really acknowledge that as any kind of motivation in what is going on here.
He just wants peace and quiet. And the stillness that meets him when he pushes open one heavy wooden door to see the shelves and tables is so satisfying.
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Lavi sighs as he puts the pen down, and then screws tight the cap on the bottle of ink. He started his work a couple of hours ago, and he is so grateful that it is done. He loves his work, but days like this, when he gets all antsy… being a Bookman isn’t meant for days like this.
It’s 12:06 a.m. and Bookman will expect him to be done soon. At which point it will be time for the next assignment. He knows there are books he’s got to read, he sees the ominous stack Bookman has been collecting for him by his bed. Bookman tends to collect those things for when Lavi finishes his logs early.
He sighs again, and gets up.
Maybe a little walk around the Order will help with this restlessness, because he doesn’t feel like sitting in his room and waiting for bookman to return from lunch will.
His walk takes him first downstairs, to see what the Science Department is up to.
Turns out that is nothing but the regular crazy shit. Another sigh. Funnily enough, that hasn’t cured the agitation yet.
So it’s on to the rest of the Order, the long corridors.
The new building is better for walking then that tower. First off, he hasn’t memorized it all yet. That’s always sort of exciting. And secondly the shape leaves more walking room. There is something about a cylindrical tower that is less interesting, because for the most part, it’s just floor after floor of useless rooms surrounding that elevator. Not too exciting, he has found.
He walks past Allen’s new room, then Yuu’s, then Lenalee’s, and keeps on going to familiar places first. He counts flagstones or doors in a hallway, knowing that the numbers will be emblazoned in his mind, and finds it a comfort.
He always knows that he will leave this place someday, and that day can’t be far. It makes the ability to remember sweeter, because he knows that someday memories of flagstones might become something he guiltily savors, after he is no longer even allowed to pretend to care. At least now he is allowed to pass any emotion he might show off as being part of the act. What’s he supposed to do when the act’s over?
He decides not to examine all of this too closely just now.
Library next, he decides, then the main hall.
Ahead of him he catches the beat of feet, which reverberate back to him and the rhythm is familiar the way a voice might be. He knows the person immediately by that sound; only Kanda steps with that agitated quietness. It’s like light stomping, the way he imagines an angry cat might walk. Like he has so much built up frustration but is left to express it in nothing but whispers.
Kanda is always so complicated, he has found. There has never been more contradiction in a single person. It must be a heavy burden, and Lavi might feel bad if it weren’t Kanda’s own stubborn ass fault.
Anyway.
Why’s he here?
Lavi quickens just a bit, enough to see the last of him as he rounds the corner ahead.
Another corner after that and he’s outside of the library doors, and Yuu’s gone.
Hmm…
He doesn’t really want to go back to his room anyway. Bookman would be all right, and he would understand. After all, Lavi is here for the history, right? Yuu Kanda had just gone into the library of his own free will. Might be worth recording...
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Allen is a patient boy. He always has been. Well, not always, but Mana always made it look so easy…
There were always people who brought out his impatience.
“- baka moyashi!!”
“My name is still Allen!!!”
But overall, he thinks he does a pretty good job putting up with whatever is thrown at him.
“Walker, you should eat better food, a person your age needs vegetable-“
He is going to ignore this; Link doesn’t exactly make him patient either.
“Walker, when you have finished that plate, we are going to be going back to your rooms, because I have work to do, and you have no reason to be lurking around here.”
“Sure Link, I am just going to use the rest room first. No, you better just go. I’ll be two seconds, and I know you have a ton of work to get started on. I’ll be right after you.”
Like hell.
The second he is out of Link’s sight, he runs. And he knows already that he will regret this great escape plan when Link does something rude like report it. but for right now… he doesn’t even feel like he has any other choice. He’s of his room, and he’s sick of the constant peanut gallery that Link feels the need to provide every time he does anything.
He hasn’t been able to run in the halls for weeks. He doesn’t have a reason to.
He didn’t always used to need a reason to and he certainly doesn’t have one now. It’s more the burning of energy, and feeling of movement.
And after that he slows a bit, to see where his sprint has taken him. He remembers running by Lavi’s room, then Kanda’s.
He wonders where Lavi is. Lavi is the kind of person who knows when some one runs by their room, Allen has found. He would probably know it was Allen, just from hearing him.
Lavi has his head down, and he looks like he is asleep. A small pile of old looking books sit next to him, one open on the table that he sits at in the dinning hall.
Allen runs, the kind of run that is more like a brisk jog, down the main aisle between the long table towards the other end to catch up with Lenalee, who is leaving. He would call for her, but if Lavi is asleep…
“Oi, Allen, where’s the fire?” Lavi mumbles from where his sits, without lifting his head.
Allen doesn’t really understand Lavi all the time.
Allen has been gone for about 10 minutes or so by now, at the most. And he figures he’s got five more until Link starts looking for him. So hiding now might be fun…
Where’s he the closest to, that’s a place he can enjoy hiding…?
Library.
It might have been the thoughts of Lavi that bring it to his mind first; he takes no time to investigate.
And he starts to jog a little again.
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Lenalee has had days that started better. To be fair she has also had days that started worse.
But she knows better than to get irritated after a less than perfect morning. People like that can’t last long in places like this.
Poor Kanda.
So now she is focused on the coffee tray that she is carrying. For some reason, this is a pretty good cure for bad morning irritation. Each cup has a name or initials on it, and in the kitchen she makes each cup for the person who those initials belong to.
Her brother might seem, to a less informed observer, like the kind of person who enjoyed sugary lighter coffee, because of his occasionally frivolous façade. She made his coffee stronger, because she knows he needs it.
And Reever, who doesn’t drink coffee at all.
Because she knows and cares for them all enough to know exactly what to get them, and they know it.
She reaches her brothers office, to give him his first. She notes that the door is closed, and knocks. A couple voices respond, her brother, then…
There is something in the Secretary’s voice that seems to cut her, whenever she hears it. And if she is asked to come in, she doesn’t.
It is Reever who opens the door, and gently takes the coffee tray from her.
“I’ve got it, Lenalee, you go on,” he says quietly, clearly trying to let her get away from what he knows scares her.
She walks for a little while, her mind absent.
She isn’t one to hide, on average circumstances. Exorcists generally aren’t.
But she has days, and she has circumstances, when a little moment, a quiet or happy moment, is all she needs to face the disaster that is her line of work.
She wants company, some one in her family to be with, because that’s where she is the happiest. And they always know how to make her happier.
Allen isn’t in his room. Neither is Link. But they aren’t in the cafeteria.
Lavi isn’t in his room.
Kanda isn’t in his. Nor can she see him outside training. And the General is training Choiji in the practice room.
They weren’t away; they weren’t in her brother’s office. Where else would they even go?
Library?
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Kanda sidles to the back of the library, where the shelves get closer together, the books older, and the people fewer. He sits cross-legged and evens his breathing. He counts slowly with each in breath. On each out breath the rhythm becomes steady, and so does he.
Next his mind begins to clear. He thinks of all that stupid shit, since he woke up this morning, and puts it into perspective until it looks insignificant and he doesn’t feel like he should be irritated any more. Because it no longer matters.
Time disappears, and he enjoys the stillness.
He feels the little vibrations in the floor, small, and they alert him of another person near him. When they are close enough that he can hear the person, he opens an eye, to make sure he is not in danger.
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Lavi walks up to where he saw Yuu retreat, and comes around the bookshelf to see him meditating. When his face is like that, even, and without a scowl…
But he thinks too soon. A single eye opens and the aggravation is showing in the eyebrows that begin to tilt together.
Lavi holds up his hands to show surrender, and the eye closes again.
He sits across from Yuu, his back against the books, and keeps quiet. He’d meditate too, if he could. Bookmen’s minds aren’t designed to be cleared.
After a time Yuu opens his eyes, both of them, to glare a little.
Lavi is surrendering once again.
“What? I didn’t say anything!”
“You don’t have to. I just don’t feel like it. Not with you just sitting there watching me.”
Lavi isn’t sure if he should be flattered that Yuu just inadvertently said that he couldn’t concentrate around him, even when he was still and quiet. He never thought his presence as Lavi was quite so powerful. He decides not to bring it up, even in jest.
“Sorry, Yuu.”
“I told you, don’t you call me by that name, or I’ll-“
Lavi hears another person, and so does Yuu.
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Allen hears them, trying to be quiet, but Kanda doesn’t seem like the kind of person who can be moved to whisper just because he is in a library.
Well, he was looking for somewhere to be, and they seemed to have found the best hiding place. Beat him to it. He follows the voices.
“Moyashi?!” greets him as he comes around the last bookshelf.
“Shh!!” Lavi says.
“I’ve told you, my name’s Allen!”
“Don’t ‘shh!” me!” Kanda snaps.
And Allen seats himself next to Lavi.
Kanda glares at them. Allen is not sure why he is so upset.
“What?” Allen asks.
“You two ruined my quiet.”
“I was being quiet! You’re the one who’s yelling, Yuu.
“I’m not yelling, don’t call me-“
“And Kanda, other people are allowed to enjoy the library.” Allen adds.
Allen notes that Kanda looks like his about to strangle some one.
“Moyashi-“
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Lenalee comes to the back of the library and she can hear them trying to whisper.
She walks faster, because she didn’t expect to find them all in one place.
“Moyashi-“ Kanda is saying, in the way that might mean death, right as she sees them around the bookshelf.
They see her too, and Kanda drops whatever he was about to get mad at Allen for.
She runs a little over to them, and sits on her knees by them.
“Lenalee!” Allen says as she sits, and she smiles.
“What are all of you doing back here?”
At this, none of them give her eye contact. Allen looks down, Lavi looks up and Kanda looks away to the side, with varying degrees of guilt from each.
Why must they all be so ill behaved?
On second thought, it is probably only Lavi and Allen who are misbehaving. Kanda is just ill tempered.
They sit in silence for a second; all reflecting on what it is that brought them there.
Oh well. They’ll find us soon enough. Lenalee thinks.
Allen pulls a deck of cards from is pocket, and shuffles them absently. Lavi reads the names of the books over Kanda’s shoulder, and Kanda just sits.
“Allen,” she starts, “would you like to play cards?”
“Aw Lenalee, don’t! Allen is a demon with cards!” Lavi warns.
“Lavi! You think I would play that way with Lenalee? Jeez. Sure Lenalee, I would love to.” He looks to Lavi, then Kanda. “Would you like me to deal you two in as well?”
“If I have a gentleman’s word that there’ll be no cheating,” Lavi says, “Deal me a hand!”
Kanda says nothing, and Lenalee is fairly positive that he doesn’t know how to play. He might, she doesn’t know for certain. But she can’t imagine where he would have learned.
And he won’t be made a fool of, so he won’t want to ask to be taught. He won’t want to refuse a challenge, which is what he sees everything as when Allen is involved.
If he can’t ask to be taught, she will help him. She just doesn’t want him to get so mad he storms off, and Allen can be insensitive to that sort of thing.
“Allen, I don’t really know how to play, do you think you could go over it?” she asks. Maybe Kanda will have the good sense learn as Allen explains it, because she is doing this for his benefit.
And Allen answers as he deals the cards, seven in front of each of them.
“Sure. We are only going to be playing Go Fish, so it’s not terribly hard, as far as card games go. Here-”
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When Link barges into Komui’s office and makes a face, he doesn’t really even need to finish tattling, they know.
Bookman walks in, looking a little more collected, but similarly irritated. He is not there to tattle, just check.
Komui just looks at Reever, and Reever knows that he should already be looking for them.
Because Allen isn’t supposed to run off, and they are just lucky that Link tattles to them first, before he is off to tell the Secretary. In fact, Reever is almost genuinely impressed, because something like that almost shows compassion.
And Lavi isn’t in trouble, per say, but he ought to get his tail back to where the Bookman wants him. Again, it isn’t his responsibility, but he knows that he is to keep his eyes open.
The usual places yield nothing.
45 minutes later, and Reever is in the library. He doesn’t think he will find any one here, but he didn’t find them anywhere else, so why not?
And he hears Lenalee giggle, so quietly. She is in the back of the library, he can hear it.
He follows the sound, and stops in his tracks.
Allen laughs. Then Lavi.
He walks again, trying to get closer without alerting them to his arrival. He just really wants to know why they are laughing… they don’t laugh as much any more.
“Allen, is this-?”
“Lenalee, don’t show me your cards!” he laughs
“Two sevens!” Lavi declares. “Eh-! Yuu!!”
Kanda snorts, like he might be laughing, if he was into that sort of thing.
“What? Three kings.” Kanda says.
“Lenalee?” Lavi asks.
“Hmm?” she answers.
“Have any nines?”
“Go fish!”
And Reever doesn’t really know what to do. He feels like he is spying, viewing something that is private, but he can’t move. Well, he could. But he is bound by curiosity.
Why are they playing cards?
He won’t stop them, he realizes, after listening for another minute. Because they never get this.
He hears how easily they speak, how comfortable they are. Allen’s typically formal speech is even dropped somewhat, and exchanged for a much more comfortable way that he seldom uses. Lavi is easy going as usual, but there is a level of genuineness that Reever is not sure he always hears. Kanda doesn’t sound like he’s inches away from committing homicide. Lenalee’s voice is missing that edge of tension, and he might be imaging all of this.
But he might not be.
How the hell does he know?
He turns, and begins to walk back away, slowly. He won’t disturb them.
He isn’t covering for them, not exactly. It’s more like he is pretending he hasn’t checked here yet. He is just going to leave and keep looking. Somewhere else. Where he knows that they aren’t.
And typically he wouldn’t do this. People should do their work, and hiding isn’t what you should do when you don’t feel like doing what you’re told.
But this is pretty different from that.
Because working at the Order is like trying to delicately engineer a train wreck, and the only difference between the exorcists and the Science dept. is that the exorcists tend to be passengers who know the crash is coming but aren’t allowed to jump off the train. And people like Reever are supposed to be luckier because they get to watch. He wonders which one of them has the guiltier job.
But he doesn’t wonder long.
They are children. They are over worked; they have all seen horror and hell that he can’t even imagine dealing with, falling asleep at night with.
They are saving the world, the four of them.
And they have help, and they have love, but really, they don’t have breaks.
Because if it’s not one thing it’s another. And they all work hard, and do what they are told, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get antsy every once in a while. They have so much patience, but there is only so much a person should be able to tolerate. And they’ve had it worse, but that isn’t an excuse. That doesn’t mean he can’t try and make it a little better for them now.
And Reever leaves the library, letting the door close quietly behind him.
Thanks for reading!